Sometimes I'm Not Me (Open, tag Hara)

All day Morgause had been acting strange. Well, stranger. She didn't want to go in the csves. She didn't want to star gaze or go exploring. Morgause was anxious and nerves gnawed away at her. Nimueh and Gawaine had even completely decided to ignore Morgause after being with her for a few moments this morning.

But no. Something was wrong. Constantly Morgause would claw at her own ears, randomly hissing. When Morgana tried to figure out what was going on, Morgause would just hiss and then go even weirder by nuzzling up to Morgana and wrapping her tail around her sister's for a moment, assuring her it was nothing, He'd be okay. He just knew that she didn't want his love to be unhappy as he was right now. She was suffering enough because he had torn it all up- chaos- chaos- chaos- mess....

His eyes looked up, cloudy and sad as they looked at the wolf in front of him. Lean and strong, sparking a feeling of pride and sadness deep within him. "Of course, I'll always talk to you." He looked around and shook the sleep from his tired, old body and began to walk.

He followed her, even though he had a sick feeling. How could she be giving him these second thoughts and be leading him away? It was all wrong and her mind kept jumping from him to her, him to her. Don't go. But he must go with her. He'd always follow her.

Walking alongside the other wolf, he kept glancing at her. Worry and hope and doubt in his eyes. Then she spoke and his heart broke, "Oh baby girl, I understand. You have to know I love you, as much as I love him." His voice broke, though this conversation her been looming on him for moons, it was hard to have.

He felt far, and glanced back around to try and find his mate, who he didn't want to be sad, who he wanted to see this reunion and how happy their child was now, would be. "I'll always love you, Baby girl. No matter what." He reassured.

Morgause was off, more so than usual, and while Nimueh and Gawaine began to ignore her, Morgana hung close. Her own pelt was prickling with warning. Something very wrong was coming and looming over them like a large black cloud. It was hard to explain. Once she'd eaten some berries in her grandfather's garden, and the only way she could think of it was like a little berry getting slowly stepped on, all the juices inside it pressing and straining to escape the skin and the room inside the berry vanished, and as the tension increased, the chance of the berry bursting grew greater and greater.

But the burst didn't come. At least not that morning. As lunch time grew closer, the tension grew so great that Morgana felt like she was choking, like the air was slowly vanishing. Morgause and the others didn't seem to notice how thick the sir had become and Morgana grew confused. She wanted her mama, her grandpa, her daddy, they'd know what was wrong, but Morgana felt so weak, it was like she was attacked to Morgause at the hip. It was in this cloudy fog that she heard Aliel approach them. She didn't know much about the whippet but what she'd heard her grandma and grandpa say about her. But Morgause, Morgause was talking like she was a he and like Aliel and her knew each other. What was going on? Her head ached and some of the pressure lessened, like the juice was beginning the leak from the berry, the dam slowly cracking.

Time was passing too fast and too slow and She couldn't hear the words. It was like she was standing from a far, watching in horror as her baby girl lunged for the wolf who owned her heart. No no nononnonoo NO!

And then suddenly, the berry burst. Whatever had slowly begun to be pieced together in her fogged mind was wiped clean as the dam broke and she saw the whippet fighting her sister. She wasn't strong enough! A howl broke from her muzzle as she took a few steps back, her body still weak from the lack of air throughout the day.

"DADDY!" She screamed, howling the loudest she'd ever howled in her life.

It had been an odd day. Mordred had been planning to go out hunting, but according to Asa, the children were being difficult. That wouldn't have kept him behind, though he would've liked to help his mate, but then the hunting party decided that they were enough without him and he gratefully took his leave.

The contentions among the pups were astounding, Nimueh and Gawaine being very nervous around Morgause and Morgana, both of whom were acting... odd, to say the least. Finally, the parents had given up, and Asa decided to take Nimueh and Gawaine outside for some fresh air to play. Morgause, who didn't want to go anywhere for once, wanted to stay in the caves. Morgana wouldn't leave her sister, so Mordred stayed with the girls in the cave.

He wasn't good at dealing with the girls when they were like this, so disconnected and plain old strange. So, he figured that they just needed to be odd for a day. Girls.

While keeping half an eye on them, Mordred chattered away with another mother, who was watching her own pups. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a figure begin to enter. Aliel, as he remembered. The strange whippet.

He looked over when he saw where Aliel was headed. First he was curious, wondering how his daughter's would react. Than Morgause's posture and complete... everything changed the moment Aliel got there. Morgause hunched over, and looked so old and tired. Their conversation he could not hear, but as Aliel turned and Morgause began to follow, Mordred took a few steps forward.

The strangeness of the situation drew a few eyes. Aliel and Morgause were walking further, and Mordred was moving to catch up with them.

Aliel jumped, Morgana screamed, Mordred broke into a sprint and a vicious growl. He didn't care that this was a packmate, no, he jumped and hurtled himself straight at the whippet who dared attack his daughter.

She kept coming and his mind closed off. He hardly fought back, and even if he could have, he didn't have time. One moment his daughter's teeth were in his arm and hurt so much, his vision was blurring. The next the moment, something was on his neck, and he couldn't breath.

Teeth punctured skin and there was blood, and he no longer moved. The stillness of the pup's body was so very real. She didn't move an inch.

Then Morgause awoke, she was she. It was only the consciousness that was fighting around the dead body spirit, fighting to regain control of the body. The small pups body began to breathe, but roughly. And blood, blood was everywhere.

The day had started out peaceful. He woke early, as usual, and did his business in the Garden Patch, but in a hurried fashion. Winter was truly here now, and he wanted nothing more than to lay bak down beside Niv and their newborn pups. Five! Five beautiful pups, all of them healthy and beautiful. They'd all been named after the legends, as with their older brothers and sisters, save the youngest, who Niv had wished to be named Rivian. It was a wonderful name, after his mother ad still very close to the names of the legends. He adored his small little pups. But the gardening took longer than he anticipated, and he was forced to clear snow and ice from the sprouts and the sun arched high in the sky before he was done. He couldn't wait for his pups to finish their training, as Laudie would likely be there to work beside him every morning afterwards.

His bad leg aching, Merlin slowly made his way back down the path and into the Spirit Caverns. But peace was not what met him. Barks and growls of an unfriendly nature reached his ears and he recognized his son's voice instantly. Mordred?

Running as fast as his bad leg would allow him, the little palm came skidding to a halt in the clearing. What was going on? His eyes scanned and a few seconds revealed many things to him. Morgana was shrunken back in absolute horror, her legs stiff as though frozen in terror. Morgause was horridly still and Merlin's keen sight only just managed to pick up the small rise and fall of her chest. Mordred was cornering Aliel and Aliel-

What? The words, they made no sense and the Wise Elder realized what this was. A delusion. A delusion? Or- or a vision? He didn't want to believe it, though he didn't think his daughter a liar. Could Alief truly- no. No, these were delusions, just like when she snapped before with him. He needed to snap her out of this, that would end it. Just like before. But first, he needed to get close enough.

He nodded slowly, his gaze steady, "Oh course. They all lied, they all tricked you." What next, what could he say to continue the delusion? One false word or step and the delusion would be challenge and he'd quickly become her enemy. Keep it vague, he reminded himself as he slowly moved closer and closer to the whippet, "You deserved more, and they took it from you. They didn't love you like they should have." He avoided Mordred's gaze, holding only Aliel's. He'd explain it all later.

THERE. Finally close enough, Merlin raised a paw and knocked Aliel's muzzle roughly downwards to her paws, the same submissive gesture he'd used the time before. "Aliel!" He barked roughly, his voice commanding and dominating, something you wouldn't think to hear from a dog so small.

His dad's words didn't translate in Mordred's mind, and his ears were pinned down. Blood racing, head spinning and all thoughts pointed toward the little girl laying behind them. He couldn't run to her just yet- he had to make sure Aliel wouldn't attack again. Merlin was coming closer, and the adrenaline made Mordred on edge, holding Aliel tighter to keep her from attacking his dad as well-

"Dad, Wha-?" Before he could finish, Merlin shouted and brought his paw down on the. Mordred jerked back, his paws digging further to contain the dog. However, the whippet tensed and then, just relaxed. The once crazed eyes looked up at him and ordered him to get off, completely normal again. As if nothing had happened.

For a moment, Mordred was completely confused. He didn't get anything that had just happened, not having known about Aliel's pass 'visions' of sorts. However, the Whippet's sudden panic pushed Mordred into action. He'd deal with Aliel later right now...

He had to deal with the eerily still body. Releasing the whippet, Mordred turned around and ran, skidding to stand next to his daughter. The wolf may not be as great as his father, but Mordred was a good healer. He didn't panic, and kept a level head as he examined Morgause's unconscious body. Blood was flowing from two places; the neck and shoulder. It looked bad.

But training told him that bleeding could make a wound look a lot worse than it was. He needed materials; Cobwebs to stop the bleeding. Wild Garlic to prevent infection. Would Morgause wake up to need a shock or pain herb? Best to get Thyme and Poppy Seeds in case...

Carefully moving to put pressure on the wound, Mordred tried to ignore his concern and inner frantic worry. It wouldn't help. However, even as he did set about his work, Mordred's eyes did sweep along Morgause's body in a way that wasn't for medical purposes. It was to assure to himself that she was still here.

"Someone get me Cobweb and Wild Garlic." He commanded aloud to no one in particular, if they had any sense someone would do it. Mordred neglected to mention the Thyme and Poppy Seed, he highly doubted Morgause was going to wake up. Small, young bodies tended to go unconscious longer from such traumatic experiences.

Wasn't that the prize winning questions? He thought, the adrenaline creating a large empty space in his mind. One of the Wise Wolves who'd been watching from the sidelines hurried off to fetch the herbs and cobwebs. Mordred was a good healer, his father having helped him, like his other children, himself, and anything Merlin could do at tham moment, Mordred would be just as capable of doing. He eyed the route Aliel had taken. He turned to Morgana, pressing his flank to hers, Gods she was getting big already. Just yesterday she'd been a squirming little mass.

"I was hoping you'd be able to tell us, Morgana." This didn't bode well, and he was forced to put the idiotic idea of visions from his mind. Not visions, flashbacks. Aliel was having delusions or flashbacks of some kind and that was the end of it, damn it! He raised his head and with his paws pointed Morgana's snout downwards so he could check her eyes. She hadn't been physically hurt, but she was showing signs of shock. "Morgana, tell me everything that happened from the moment Aliel approached you and Morgause til now," he ordered his granddaughter.

She paused, her large eyes blinking as she stared at her grandfather. While to some it may have looked like she was trying to think up a story or a lie, she would never have considered lying to the elder dog. She simply was having a hard time, everything was so hazy, like being in a dream.

"I, I don't know, it all happened so fast," she said ducking her head, "And, I wanted to help, but it felt like I could move, my legs didn't feel like my own." It was true, nothing had felt like her own body. It all had felt so foreign, like it wasn't even her own legs. "And then Morgause, she said something and Aliel, she was so angry, and she attacked, but Morgause didn't even fight back," Her headache was coming back again and it felt like her skull was trying to crack itself open. She just wanted it to stop. She wanted to go take a nap with Mama and Daddy and not thing about this horrible day anymore.